The end is near...

There are two great theories fighting for popularity on the internets. When I say great I mean completely hilarious and sincerely insane.

This guy Lou Valintino is a fascinating fellow. His blog is really hard to read but when you get past the big scientific words and the nutter babble, it is kind of interesting.

According to Lou, on the date 11/11/11 the world is going to go downhill. The economy is going to crash and war is going to break out in the Middle East, and Cuba is going to become violent. UFOs are going to start making themselves known he says, but don’t worry, he insures that we can’t be negatively invaded by aliens because we have already negatively invaded ourselves.

To verify that his predictions are correct, he has a whole list of important predictions that came true. He predicted that Bill Clinton would be impeached in 1998 because Monica Lewinski spoke her true feelings to the public.

If you are really worried about being abducted by aliens you can just sell your soul to God, but you better hurry because May 21^st is coming quick. That’s what Marie Exley says. She believes that the world is going to end on May 21, 2011. She really wanted to start a family but since she thinks the end is near, she has decided to do God’s work because she doesn’t have time to start a family.

She now drives around from town to town telling people that if they don’t get straight with the lord they will not be saved when May 21^st gets here. Marie and a bunch of other extremists, think that the Bible is cosmic calendar. But if this so called day of death passes and Jesus hasn’t came down to save them, then they haven’t lived up to his true expectations.

Let’s play a game of ‘Would You Rather’ shall we? Ok. Would you rather be abducted and anally probed by aliens? Or would you rather give your soul to God and hope that he isn’t going to anally probe you like the aliens? You choose. Be swift about it though because May is approaching as we speak.